Meet Derrick, a 34-year-old Ugandan who had a good start to his career but lost it just under a decade. 

In his third year at the university, Derrick was offered an internship with one of the most reputable Non-government organisations in town. Six months into this training, a job opportunity was advertised internally, for which he applied and succeeded.

In a country with a high unemployment rate, Derrick had all the reasons to celebrate this milestone. In a matter of months, as his cash inflow increased, so did friends of all kinds. Alcohol and women eventually became a standard for happiness. 

Seven years into his success with the NGO, a career journey that appeared smooth for Derrick, took a nosedive due to the sudden shift in the skills required on the job. Derrick increasingly became incompetent by the day; forgot, or ignored his terms of reference – the task to shift the organisation to a higher level with his skills and qualification.

His attitude towards work turned sloppy; constantly falling behind with project deadlines. As expected, his contract got terminated. 

This dealt a harsh blow to him. His financial obligations to his family – four children by three different women – became severely compromised. And, of course, he gradually lost his many friends till he was all alone. Only alcohol remained in his life, this time as a helpmate in his days of misfortune.

Get the book here:
What I Wish I Knew Before the Age of Twenty

Derrick’s life journey is a mirror of what many young African professionals go through -leading lives without guidance. Fortunately, there are role models on the continent whose example can help lead the way. An extremely powerful book: What I Wish I Knew Before the Age of Twenty, authored by Emmanuel Dei-Tumi, the president of Human Capital International, is a good starting point.

In this book, the author shares insights on what he calls the “secret wisdom” he applied to rise to success despite his lowly birth.

The journey of life is punctuated with happiness, pain, success, failures, and lessons to be learned at different stages.

What, for instance, would you change if the clock was reset 10 years back for you?

We guess that you would at least make changes in your career, marriage, friendships, finance, and investment, or maybe take a different path in education. That is life! It is lived forward but understood backward.

Experience, they say, is the best teacher. But that experience must not necessarily be your own, especially the bitter ones. Always endeavour to learn from the mistakes, failures, and successes of others if you are to become a better person. 

In this article, the first of a two-part series; we offer you seven insights on what you should have known about life before age 20 and another seven in the next. 

Also, we encourage you to sign up for the upcoming free webinars, as we charter a new life together.

What you should have known;

1. About God

Human beings cannot accurately predict what tomorrow will be. We can only guess and have a good plan. It is the reason why God must become central in even the best of our plans. He knew you before you were formed in your mother’s womb. And only He knows even the unspoken desires of your heart.

He knows all your tomorrows as well. Therefore, seek Him before you make any decisions. It is the surest way to avoid blunders in life. Imagine Derrick knowing and seeking God’s guidance before making his life’s decisions!

2. About success

The core principle of success is that who you are tomorrow, begins with what you do today. Regardless of what you call success, attaining it is a process and a journey, not an event or instant achievement. Note that the road to success is always under construction. 

Angela Lee Duckworth, an American academic, psychologist, and popular science author said in one of her presentations, that to succeed in life regardless of your field, one must have grit. Although social intelligence and Intelligence Quotient (IQ) is important in achieving success, grit is paramount, she says.

“Grit is the passion and perseverance for very long-term goals. Grit is having stamina. Grit is sticking to your future….and working very hard to make it a reality,” Duckworth said.

As you grow in life, you must develop the patience required to see your dreams materialise, however long they seem to take. You should develop the ability to hold on to your dream amidst distractions.

3. About wisdom – knowing when, and how to use what you have 

The word wisdom has been used many times in our life that it now sounds lofty for people to consciously want to achieve it like they would want to have good health, relationships, or wealth. But wisdom is a project that everyone should seek to accomplish. 

Proverbs 3:15 reads: “wisdom is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her,”

With wisdom, you can navigate life’s complexities such as; starting a business, coming up with innovations or simply having good judgment about the issues of life. Wisdom starts with the realisation that you almost know nothing, and that what you know may be wrong.

Dei-Tumi says in his book that “lack of knowledge is not criminal, but the lack of wisdom can be lethal,”

 “True job security in life is to have more wisdom for tomorrow than for today,” he adds. 

4. About character and integrity

Former US president, and one of America’s most gifted writers, Abraham Lincoln, once stated: “character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing,”

Character is the combination of all qualities and features of an individual. These qualities and features include; integrity, ethics, judgment, self-awareness, or empathy. These are qualities that determine a person’s destination in life. 

They form the basis of your relations with others. Good character tends to make people successful, and bad character, regardless of how gifted you are, tends to hinder success. Always endeavour to work on your character because it is your key to success.

5. About emotional intelligence

Closely related to character is emotional intelligence. This is about self-awareness, social skills, and self-regulation. Emotional intelligence is important in everyday life because, it will help you to manage your own emotions, resolve conflicts easily, become a better listener, and at the same time a good communicator.

“The secret of life is to be true about your feelings to other people. To say NO when I did not feel a yes, is a skill to develop,” says Dei-Tumi.

6. About personal finance management – Money

One of the critical areas you must master is how to create and manage your finances. Money is not a source of happiness, but earning it, and having control over it, is a skill worth developing. Before you spend, make sure you earn. When you earn, ensure to invest a portion.

Read this article:
Twelve money mistakes you must avoid if you are to succeed financially.

Borrowing money is not a good idea unless you do it with a view of undertaking an investment. Importantly, learn to postpone self-gratification; forgo certain things now to attain financial freedom later. Remember, rich people, act poor and stay rich, while the poor, act rich, and remain poor.

A feelgood study done by insurer Aviva, for instance, shows that people who had proper management of personal finance increased their overall happiness, and self-esteem. 

Although money isn’t a measure of success, having it gives a sense of security. Additionally, Dei-Tumi notes that the purpose of “money is not for merrymaking, but to multiply it to help others live their dreams and build bridges among generations and families.”

For that reason, it is important to note that success is not how much money you make, but rather how much money you keep, and how many generations you keep it for. You should know this so that you plan better for yourself and posterity.

7. The ability to respond to adversities in life

Robin Sharma said in his book: The Leader Without A Title, that: “hard times only feel bad. In truth, they serve us so very well. They make us tougher. They connect us to our dormant potential. Yes, they make us feel uncomfortable. Yes, they create confusion within our minds and provoke fear within our hearts. But the reality of the matter is that the conditions that challenge us the most are the very conditions that lead to our greatest growth. And to our most fulfilling achievements.”

At an early stage in life, we should all learn to expect hard times, and equally develop strategies to withstand the storm.

 In his book, Dei-Tumi puts it this way: “There is a downside to every human being and every situation. Nothing lasts forever, not even your troubles. Past hurts can either make you bitter or better; the choice is yours,”

In life, the question is not if you will have problems, but how you are going to deal with them.

Unlike Derrick, we hope you will make these principles part of your journey to success, and learn to make your future better than your past.